Short Story

Tilia Fu
Amber
     Not many people know what it’s like to fall deeply in love. Not many people know what it’s like to be rejected either. I happened to go through both these stages. And every night, I let the memories flow through my mind, I let the tears fall down my face, until I fall into a deep, misty, and somewhat enjoyable sleep. But behind the walls of enjoyment, there is always some kind of pain. Not physical, like needles or knives, but a twisting, burning sensation in my mind. By then, the memories usually take over…
     I fell in love with Amber when I was in college. I knew we shared some classes together but I never had the guts to go up and invite her to dinner, or even talk to her. All I knew was that she was the one. I waited patiently for about a year. I waited for her to notice me, or even better, talk to me. And soon she did start to talk to me, but only when we were assigned to a group project together. It was good enough for me. Her friends started to notice me staring at her all the time. Occasionally, they would pull Amber aside and whisper like middle school girls. I would listen as hard as I could to see if they mentioned my name or not, but I could never hear.
     One day, I decided to start a conversation with her. It was perfect because that day, one member of our group was sick with the flu, which left the group to just to her and me. I must have been so nervous because I remember sweating bullets! So I took a deep breath and said, “So, are you doing anything this summer?” She stared at me, as if she never heard anyone talk to her before. I waited with a polite expression on my face for her to reply.
     “Umm. Yes. Yes I’m going somewhere.”
     “Oh cool.” I said, “Where?”
     “Just the Grand Canyon. I’ve never been there and I heard it’s beautiful…” her voice seemed to drag on. She must have been imagining the canyon.
     “Yeah. It is really pretty. I heard you could ride horses all the way down to the bottom of the canyon.”
     “Really? I’d love to try that. But I’m afraid of heights, so, I don’t think I could,” she looked disappointed of herself.
     I felt a twinge of pain, looking at her sad face, so I quickly added, “Oh don’t worry, so am I.” trying to comfort her. She smiled at me as if she knew I was putting on an act. I decided to switch the subject, but right when I was about to open my mouth, the bell rang.
     “I have to get to my next class,” she said while gathering her stuff.
     “Yeah me too.” I replied stupidly.
     “Talk to you tomorrow?”
     “Sure!” I replied almost too enthusiastically. She smiled again, and walked out of the room. I was definitely in love.
The next day passed fast. So did the rest of the week. I was starting to gather more and more courage as we talked even more.
     And soon, I made up my mind. “I’ll just ask her to dinner,” I told myself. That’s it. Before I knew it, I was walking up to her in our science class, biting my tongue so hard it began to bleed.
     “Hey how’s it going?” she asked me.
     “Not bad,” I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.
     “You sure? You look really pale.” She said while observing my face. A wrinkle of worry was beginning to form on her forehead.
     “Yeah. I really am fine just… I wanted to ask you something…” I could taste the blood forming in my mouth. I began to hyperventilate.
     “Yes?” her eyes squinted, giving her a very suspicious look.
     “Umm… well, do you know what the homework is tonight?” I gave up. I couldn’t do it.
     “No not yet the teacher hasn’t written it on the board which is really strange considering…………” She kept talking her usual babble but this time I couldn’t listen. Why couldn’t I have the courage to just ask her? I thought about this for minute or two until Amber said, “Hello? Hey are you still there? Hello?” That snapped my mind right back.
     “Oh um. Yeah I’m still here. Hey could I take you out to dinner tonight?” I went pale. I didn’t realize I had just said what I was thinking. I could feel my heard accelerating immediately and I started to feel dizzy.
     “What?” she said, “Oh I mean, um, sure… actually, we could try out that new restaurant that just opened down the street. Sound good?” I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I could feel a huge smile forming onto my face.
     “Yeah, I guess. That sounds great. I’ll meet you there at 6:oo?”
     “Sounds good,” she replied with a grin. And we began our work for class.
     I did take her out for dinner that night. And the next night, and the next and the next. In fact, I took Amber to the restaurant so much that she started calling it our cafeteria. It was Sunday night and she said that she had to get to bed early for school.
     “Okay then,” I said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and skipped off into the darkness of the street.
     Monday morning came, and I walked into our science lab expecting Amber to come bouncing toward me as she had done every day since I asked her to dinner. But no one came up to me. I walked around the classroom searching for her, but she wasn’t there.      “Hmmm………” I thought, “She must be out with the flu.”
     I checked my phone too to see if she left me any text messages or calls. There were none. I told myself not to worry, and that she was fine, but there was some sort of an unsettling feeling deep in my stomach.
     Class ended sooner than I thought, so I decided to call Amber while I had the chance.
     “Riiiiing, riiiiiing, riiiiiiing,” went my phone continually, but no one picked up. This time, I couldn’t keep my fears away. I had to find her to see if she was okay. I checked her apartment first. I stood there for possibly ten minutes just ringing the doorbell. I must have been quite annoying because her roommate came out soon to tell me I had to stop.
     “Where is Amber?” I asked, my voice filled with fear, worry, and nervousness. When her roommate just stood there with a blank expression on her face I almost wanted to shake her and just yell at her “Where is Amber?” but I kept calm, and repeated, “Where is Amber?” This time, I really looked at her face. My eyes widened as I saw the puffy red rims around her eyes. She’d been crying. A lot I realized. But I waited patiently.
     It seemed like forever when she finally said, “Amber is at……… the hospital.”
     “What?” I gasped, petrified.
     “Amber. Is. At. The. Hospital.” She repeated, her voice shaking.
     “She was walking home last night, and got hit by a car…”
     I couldn’t believe her. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then another. Seconds later, she was weeping at my feet. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I backed away slowly, then ran. I ran down the hallway to the staircase. I ran down the staircase to the lobby. I ran out the door into the street. I ran to the one place where Amber was, where my heart was.
     I burst through the hospital doors in search for a nurse. Right next to me, stood a woman with a neat, obviously well-ironed, white trench jacket. The kind all nurses on T.V. wore.
     I must have looked like a crazy, drunk man when I shook her shoulders whispering violently, “Do you know what room Amber White is in?”
     She tried to back away several times. Realizing that I was causing a mayhem, another nurse came to help me instead.
     “Sir!” she yelled, “SIR! Who are you looking for?” I quickly turned toward her, about to grab her shoulders but she dodged my hands.
     I gave up on the whole, “force the answer out of them” idea so I tried to collectedly ask, “What room is Amber White in?”
     “She is in the I.C.U, so you can’t see her. I’m sorry sir,” she said. But I didn’t care what she said. I had to see my love. I ran down the hollow hallways searching for the I.CU. When I finally found it, there was a doctor examining some papers on his clipboard.
     “Excuse me doctor, is Amber in there?” he looked up from his clipboard. His glasses started to slide down his nose but he pushed it back up.
     “Yes, she is but you can’t see her,” his voice was wary, as if he hadn’t slept for days. It was probably true too.
     “She has gone through major memory loss……. She won’t remember you anymore,” I stood there, with a blank expression on my face. Then I crumpled to the ground. At those last words, my world fell apart. My heart was broken in half. My life was changed forever.